I remember when Facebook was an exclusive site. Only certain colleges–mostly Ivy Leagues—were allowed to use this service. But then slowly, Facebook started letting a college on here and there. Once they were bombarded by emails from my friends, roommates and I, they let on our state school, the lovely SUNY Albany.

Needless to say, that was 2004.  The last 5 years Facebook and I have had a tumultuous relationship. At first, I was addicted. Friend-ing whoever I could find, posting on walls, writing notes, uploading ridiculous pictures from nights out – some of which could fall under the “blackmail” label.  Then, Facebook did the unforgivable. It opened itself up to everyone. Like a college bar that accepts the fakest ID, any person from elementary school to grandparents could just waltz onto Facebook and make an account. Watching all this, Facebook and I have fallen apart – and I’ve learned what to like, what not to and what should be obliterated from the face of the earth.

Compiling the top 10 gripes about Facebook – I present to you the 10 Sins of Facebook. (And I’m guilty of some of these too sometimes.)

10. Don’t Poke. Be up front if you like somebody. Poking is kinda bordering on creepy – even in Facebook.

9. Phone Number Groups. You do not have to make a group for phone numbers you’ve forgotten/lost your phone/super desperate for friends – whatever. Simply message. It’s more personal.  Plus, you won’t get numbers that belong to people that you haven’t talked to in forever/exes/creepers.

8. Looking For …? I’m not going to say you can’t use FB to find prospects. Many people do. I’m not ripping on these people. But don’t cop out and say “Whatever I Can Get.” It makes you sound desperate and people will know you are just all about getting laid. Be a little more coy about it – and it’ll work in your favor.

7. Groupie Addiction. Joining every group is disastrous. All the updates and postings to sift through, it’s ridiculous. Join the ones you really like – save yourself the headache and save the rest of us the pain of scrolling all the way down only to find you’ve joined every group on Facebook imaginable.

6. Games. Should not exist. Join Pogo if you want to play games – it has better variety. Hell, go way old school and play Freecell. If you desperately can’t live without harvesting your crops in Farmville, nobody wants to hear about it. Don’t post how you need me to join your Mob so you can become the Boss of All Bosses – or work for you in Restaurant City. I’m too busy playing Peggle.

5. Status Updating. Facebook and Twitter are completely different. Logging on and seeing 146 Live Feed posts about how you’re peeing, eating, grabbing Starbucks, SO EXCITED FOR TONIGHT, or how your kid smiled and went to school. Nobody needs to know every second of your day. Keep it to 2 or 3, Over sharer.

4. Tagging Galore. Uploading photos from going out, or a vacation is fun. It’s not supposed to be a tedious activity, feverishly tagging everyone in the photo, including random hands, or backs of the head. Name the article for where you were – “23^rd Birthday” is much nicer than “WOOO! B-DAY SHITSHOW.” Trust me, when applying for jobs – or anytime after graduating college – you’ll go back and change that.

3. Facebook Marriages. This is a double-edged sword. On the plus side, it can ward off unwanted advances from people. However if it was started as a joke, than it can make prospective partners think you’re not available. And you may have to fight off some questions about it – which could make things awkward.

2. Notifications. If you have a choice to post results to a wall, or Live Feed or Friend Feed – just don’t. If you want to everyone to know that you got 98% on the “How Black Are You Test” or are challenging me to best your 85% on “Obscure Bands of the 70’s”, you will get de-friended. Seriously, nothing is worse than signing in and seeing 66 notifications about every single quiz you took.

1. Family. Don’t friend family members unless you want them to know all about the fantastically drunken escapades you go on, what you look like when you’re passed out and written on, what you’re writing on friends’ walls, and everything else. They will go through your photos. Undoubtedly they will, and will show other family members. They will leave you little messages like, “Good luck on your finals, honey.” and “Are you coming home for Christmas? LOL.” It’s just an all-round bad idea.

So, use this list of Sins well. Staying away from these sins will save you heartache, headaches and awkward situations with family members. Otherwise you’ll be doing a lot more than penance.