There are about 10,239 things that we are urged to keep in mind when meeting someone for the first time. Though this checklist traditionally is practiced with “in person” interactions such as job interviews, first dates and initial meetings, it also rings quite true in e-relationship introductions.

What’s the first thing you focus on when you’re ‘meeting’ someone for the first time via the internet? Clearly we can rule out what you’re wearing or a breath-check since they really don’t matter –at least not in e-land. Do you focus on your tone? Do you wonder when and if to make jokes? Do you ask an appropriate amount of questions?

While these are all valid concerns, they’re also a little…. jumping of the proverbial gun.  Chances are, you won’t even have a chance at asking questions, or offering witty charm if you don’t do one thing correctly – you must do one thing in order to graduate to the next level of making an impression – The first step in any relationship, romantic, casual, or business alike – is saying hello.

There’s a website that I frequent and before you judge me, hear me out. Omegle.com is a site in which you are randomly matched with another online person ready to chat. I’ve done a lot of perusing of the different people and have been connected with those who I can only think to call “interesting.” The great thing about Omegle is that you can disconnect from the conversation whenever you care to. For me, this typically is within about 30 seconds of the conversation beginning. I have yet to find more than a handful of people who say hello in an acceptable enough way to imply that they could actually carry on a conversation worth my time.

We’re a judgmental group of internet-users—and rightfully so. You’ve heard of the creepers out there. Personally I’m judging people from their e-mail address, to their blog title, to the way that they speak to me and reply to me. Their “Hello” is of course the first thing I get to look at, so I gather as much as I can from the first few sentences shared.

All of this being said – how can you spot an acceptable “hello”? How do you, yourself provide an acceptable hello?  Personally, I’ve always found the “Keep it Simple with a Twist” Method to be abundantly beneficial.

“Hi” or “Hello” is perfectly acceptable, but for me it’s too…bland. It’s like dry toast; Healthy, acceptable, but just not exciting. Of course, I’m not saying to spread all kinds of fruity crap all over it, but a dollop of butter wouldn’t hurt. Consider an “Oh, hello! How are you!” response over a plain old, “hey.”

My personal favorite is a friendly “Hey There!” It’s a greeting that I frequently use, and promotes the idea of excitement to be talking to the other person. If you’re feeling extra ambitious, throw in the extra “how are you, today?” The ‘today’ being the ‘extra mile’ that you’re going, since ‘how are you’ has become so commonplace. People want to feel significant, and speaking to them in such a way helps make for one satisfied chatting partner.

Now, what are the red-flags of people to look out for? Which hello’s of people should you avoid? If you’re looking for an intelligent person, I’d recommend losing the guy or girl who says things like “Heyyyyyy”. There are probably more y’s than intelligence in that individual. I believe we’re all beyond the cyber-sex age, but I have been getting quite a dramatic number of introductions of “Hey, R U A Horny Female?”  What’s my response?

“Any luck with that pick up line?”

They traditionally say “no”, and I proceed to tell them that it’s perfectly fine that they’re looking for cyber sex (lie), but there’s a way to get it, and it’s not attempting force it on people. I call that cyber rape. So, I help them improve there game.

After all, what’s an e-swagger coach for?!

So as a little gift to you, here are a few alternatives to the bland old “Hello” that you might try using in your next internet interaction: Some sound a bit redundant, but trust me, they work. Pick your favorite, make it yours.

“Hello to you! How are you?”
“Hey there! What’s going on with you today?”
“Oh, hello! How are you doing today?”
“Hey, friend! What’s going on? What are ya up to tonight?”
“Hi, there! How are you? What are you up to?”
“Hey! How’s December treating you?”
“Hey, what’s going on? How ya doing?”

I’m very interested – how do YOU say hello? Please do touch base and let me know!