In my first blog, I mentioned that many people have written at great lengths about developing and utilizing swagger.  I also mentioned that the majority of literature on that topic was patently false.  The purpose of this writing is to inform you of one of the more popular books that I have found to be outstandingly false in regards to interacting, engaging and closing the deal with women.  This site is dealing with the medium of online interaction, but there are popular books out there that deal with the same thing.  The book that I’m speaking of, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick Up Artists by Neil Strauss, is a literary disaster and gives all of the wrong advice to how to be successful with dating.  Mr. Strauss is a talented writer and does a good job of disassociating himself from the league of “pick up artists” (P.U.A.’s) represented in the book, but still passes on incorrect advice from the individuals who cross his path during his trip.

This group of P.U.A.’s, as they so creatively titled themselves, formed online.  I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that I was not surprised by this.  This may seem like an odd statement from someone writing about online dating, but my thought is, who was verifying that any of their claims of successful relationships with goddess-like women were true?  The basic theory behind the Inside the Secret Society of Pick Up Artists, was that anyone, no matter their physical deformities or lack of social skills, could pick up the sorts of attractive women that wouldn’t ordinarily pay them any mind.  Even if they were on fire.  And the women were volunteer firefighters.  On duty.  As I’ve previously stated, the first and most important element in dating, online or otherwise, is physical attraction.  There is statistical, documented evidence of this, especially as it pertains to online dating.  DATA FROM ONLINE DATING BLOG.

So let’s take a look at a few of the more pathetic “surefire tricks” that the P.U.A.’s use to magic women into loving them.

Magic tricks – Using magic tricks to grab a females attention may work on a sixth grader, but I’m not writing for sixth graders.  And I’m hoping no sixth graders are reading.  Shiny baubles may temporarily distract the fairer of sexes, but doing magic tricks is only going to make you look immature and reaching.  As if you’ll stop at no cost to get attention, any attention, from them.  The attention that you’ll get is the wrong kind.  Women don’t want magic tricks, they want passion.  Passion will beat magic every day of the week.

“Hip” nicknames – Giving yourself an asinine nickname, such as “Style”, which Strauss uses in the book, doesn’t impress anyone.  Once the woman figures out that your name is actually Bob, or Frank, it’s going to instill the idea in her head that you lie, therefore, you’re a liar.  And if you’re willing to lie about something as innocent as your name, what else are you willing to lie about?  Instilling a sense of distrust in a relationship in the first few sentences isn’t going to help, in the immediate or distant future.

Paying attention to anyone but the “target” – Look, it’s basic human nature to desire attention.  It’s fine to pay attention to someone other than the person that you’re trying to attract, a certain aloofness will garner interest from the primary female, but the manner in which it’s represented in this book is almost disrespectful.  Disrespecting someone will not get you anything from someone who respects themselves.

If you want a book that will truly teach you how to seduce someone of the opposite sex, pick up Robert Greene’s The Art of Seduction (which is mentioned in glowing terms in The Game).  It doesn’t give you point by point, “fail proof” strategies but rather gives you a mold which you can accentuate your good characteristics, while hiding your others.  We’ll go into that next time.

e-swagger | Neil Strauss | Sean White